I only just saw this, but now I have I have to ask the above question after it emerged that the Tories, ahem, second ad agency of the election M&C Saatchi asked Guardian writer, and the world’s second favourite *misanthrope, Charlie Brooker to appear in an ad.
This happened the other day, he tweeted about it and it has to be repeated due to the special interest we take around here regarding advertising and the election (did I miss a word out there?).
The ad was going to be a comedy ad. It would have been the best kind of comedy. The kind that blows up in your face like um one of those exploding things (I’m not sure which). According to an FT post it is all true and a comedy production company called Clever Pie also got a call.
Maybe he could have recited a few lines from his column almost two years ago where in the simplest terms possible he set out his views on a) David Cameron and a) the Tory party in general (and issues relating to rutting).
I remember when it was published. There are something you don’t forget and “fuck me, Gerald” is one of those lines (thanks for that @charltonbrooker).
There are some very smart people in advertising, but on this day it seems they were not involved. Maybe someone at M&C Saatchi could have used the Interwebulator. It is a vast futuristic like device for searching a great archive of published material (it is where it found Brooker’s article…). Still maybe the intern wasn’t there that day or the operational manual for this wonder could not be located. Maybe they could have called Euro RSCG who used to hold the account (or still do although its confusing as they don’t actually seem to be doing anything, but they definitely weren’t sacked by Andy Coulson and Tory Party central office. I want to be quite clear on that issue. And even if they were what a lucky escape that turned out to be).
If M&C Saatchi types had activated the Interwebulator and pointed it to the Interweb (it gets a bit complicated see me after if you need tips) they would have found he had this to say about David Cameron: “David Cameron is an idiot. A simpering, say-anything, dough-faced, preposterous waddling idiot with a feeble, insincere voice and an irritating tendency to squat near the top of opinion polls. I don’t like him. And I’ve got a terrible feeling he’ll be prime minister one day.” Ouch. Maybe Brooker is not your man. On the Tory party itself, he had much more to say.
“Naturally, I’m biased. I’ve instinctively hated the
Tories since birth. If there was an election tomorrow, and the only two
choices were the Nazis or the Tories, I’d vote Tory with an extremely
heavy heart. In descending order of vehemence, my objections to the
Tory species stem from a) everything they do, b) everything they say,
c) everything they stand for, d) how they look, e) their stupid names
and f) the noises I imagine they make in bed. I once overheard two posh
people – almost certainly Tories – having sex in a hotel room. It was
grim. The woman kept saying, “Fuck me, Gerald,” in a cut-glass accent,
which was funny, but Gerald himself soon wiped the grin off my face…”
I don’t know what do you think? Does the line “I’ve instinctively hated the Tories since birth” just maybe provide another clue that Brooker was not your man?
The Guardian might have been the third and final clue. I say might as, apparently there are Tories at The Guardian or at least people say there are. Labour MP Tom Watson pointed to Julian Glover last night in a stinking rage.
How the said Guardian leader writer came up with his colourful interpretation is unclear. Maybe from Mickey Mouse. Or something. To be fair I don’t know if the Mickey bit is even slightly true. It could have been Dick Dastardly or maybe another less reputable character from the animated world.
*Second favourite misanthrope after Hugh Laurie in ‘House’ – but really first favourite who is not a fictional character.
